Trusting our Path is Perfect

Trusting that my path has unfolded perfectly has been such a big gateway to encounter.

It’s taking all of me, I mean all of me, to meet it with presence. What a Challenge. What a Gift.

I posted these words on social media, and they seemed to baffle some people.

Sometimes I say things about this process that I feel need further clarification.

I keep noticing the exaggerated paradoxes inherent in this chapter of my life.

Death is not something easily understood with the mind. So for a millennia, Death has fallen under the dictate of “The Mystery”, and we’ve left it largely to the “spiritual” among us to try and put language to it, to help us better understand.

I am one such spiritual person. Like my son, with whom I had many conversations about the nature of the universe, and the underpinnings of reality, I too, have tried to put language to my experience.

But inside of trying to understand the afterlife, why he feels so utterly present with me at times, the eternal nature of love, things like soul contracts, fate & karma, that help me to accept this tragic loss.

I also find myself in the “oh so human” realm often. Begging, bartering for an exchange. Railing at the universe for such a senseless loss. I feel the disconnection, the separation. I feel the frailty and meaninglessness. I feel bereft.

And between those two things, while I am grappling, I sometimes shoot off a random social media post like the one above. A few of the comments made me think I this one needed further elucidation.

This is what I said…

“If one is reading this as a bypass, or a celebration of tragedy, it isn’t being understood fully.

Trusting the mystery to unfold perfectly, each breath, each step, when we are in the depths of hell is a practice of staying present in the dark.

It’s NOT numbing, or BYPASSING, or distracting.

But rather it is believing in the inherent benevolence of this incarnation. Even when it doesn’t feel good.

It’s saying yes to life, even when it hurts.

It’s not turning my back on the miracle of being alive when I hate what’s on the menu.”

Explaining it this way opened a beautiful dialogue, and brought in further understanding.

Grief does hold a lot of paradoxes. We find that we an feel joy and pain in the same breath. Anger and gratitude can be paired. Love and disgust happen in the same breath. And the list goes on.