Being Claimed By Grief

Written By Damascena Tanis

Collage by Rashani Réa Words by Stephan Jenkinson

I always knew that I loved my kids so, so, much.

I sometimes thought, “maybe it’s more than other mothers”, it just felt so big.

I’m almost relieved by the amount of grief I have.

To find that I love him so much more than my mind and body could have possibly comprehended before.

It’s more than the more that I had originally suspected.

It was especially helpful early on when I was still in shock and the stories came in…

The horrible, self punishing, distortions around the idea that maybe he was gone because something was wrong with my love.

But no.

It’s so deep. So big. So pure. So tender, and precious.

Now I get see and feel the true size of it.

Gigantic. Galactic size mother love.

Cosmic, eternal, not understandable with the

mind love.

Love so large it claims me. All of me at times. Steals my breath with the beauty of it.

Yesterday I talked about the difference between grief/pain and suffering.

What I’m finding in my grief is that if I can’t have him here, I’m being comforted and healed by the fact that I get to KNOW and carry a love this big, and this sweet, for the whole of my life.

And this love is part of what pushes our story forward. What helps us, as grievers, continue on.

Damascena Tanis

Damascena is an Archetypal Astrologer, Ayurvedic Wellness Practitioner, and The Facilitator of the Transformative Journey through the Mandala of Venus’ Wisdom, called “Sky Dancer”.

She is a passionate devotee of the ever unfolding mystery. As an expert observer, a trait she developed as an only child, she regards herself as both a student of life, and decoder of the cosmos.

Skilled at recognizing invisible patterns, and picking up on subtle shifts in the collective, she gets a thrill from uncovering and revealing the hidden threads that are woven together to create our paradigm.

Her passion for this existential detective work aligns well with her unique approach to one on one client work, as she helps others to discover the building blocks of their archetypal blueprint, and mythic overtones. She does not believe that astrology is static, and therefore works with clients to develop strategies and practices that allow them to transcend challenging aspects of their natal chart.

She lives on the Shores of Lake Erie with her husband, four kids, and Cat, Oscar (the grouch).

These days, when she isn’t interpreting a natal chart, or translating the stars for her astrology blog, you can find her engaging in one of her favorite pandemic pastimes, unraveling her inner “good girl”, cultivating the ability to thrive in the deep, dark, unknown, or playing her favorite game of identifying fun paradoxes called “two things are true at once”.

https://www.RedMoonRevival.org
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