Familiar Soil

Written By Damascena Tanis

FAMILIAR SOIL

There’s something so familiar about the terrain I’m in.

Funny that. Feels like an outrageous thing to say.

That I’d have any experience with a pain this big, without ever having experienced something of this magnitude before?

There are so many things about this loss that don’t fit into our standard understanding of what grieving looks and feels like. Things that feel entirely edgy and taboo to say out loud.

Like how can grief and the magical part of being a child, feel so similar?

And yet, my practice this year has been around full expression. Giving voice to what exists in the cracks and crevices of this intimate journey. And sharing it.

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FAMILIAR SOIL-A meditation

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How can I feel like I’m familiar soil?

No one truly close to me has died before now.

I had a miscarriage.

But this is not the same.

It’s this grief, this love longing, this exile from blood lineage.

I know this ground.

I have a map.

Is it a result of being adopted?

Maybe.

Probably.

Yes.

But even more than that, it’s childhood.

There is a direct line I can draw between this grief, and my childhood.

That’s where I picked up the scent.

The scent of relational networks.

Networks of longing, and desire. Totally unrequited.

Networks of brokenness, and puzzle pieces with no home. Shapes that do not fit.

But the legend lives here too. The key to the map.

It’s an animist existence. Whereby everything comes alive.

The way we were as children…

The cross pollination between worlds.

Feeling the essence of all things. Even the essence of feelings.

Dripping in magic, the veils disappear.

Nothing has a voice,

but everything speaks here.

A symphony of silence,

in every dialect

My senses can interpret.

I have sight to see in the dark.

The dark that makes everything real.

And brings the world into focus.

Sharpening the sound.

That’s how I’ve survived,

walking familiar ground.

I had no idea that I knew how to grieve.

That I had navigational tools for this terrain.

It is to live as I did as child.

And notice how everything breathes.

#grief #griefawareness #griefsupport #griefandloss #griefjourney #childloss #children

Damascena Tanis

Damascena is an Archetypal Astrologer, Ayurvedic Wellness Practitioner, and The Facilitator of the Transformative Journey through the Mandala of Venus’ Wisdom, called “Sky Dancer”.

She is a passionate devotee of the ever unfolding mystery. As an expert observer, a trait she developed as an only child, she regards herself as both a student of life, and decoder of the cosmos.

Skilled at recognizing invisible patterns, and picking up on subtle shifts in the collective, she gets a thrill from uncovering and revealing the hidden threads that are woven together to create our paradigm.

Her passion for this existential detective work aligns well with her unique approach to one on one client work, as she helps others to discover the building blocks of their archetypal blueprint, and mythic overtones. She does not believe that astrology is static, and therefore works with clients to develop strategies and practices that allow them to transcend challenging aspects of their natal chart.

She lives on the Shores of Lake Erie with her husband, four kids, and Cat, Oscar (the grouch).

These days, when she isn’t interpreting a natal chart, or translating the stars for her astrology blog, you can find her engaging in one of her favorite pandemic pastimes, unraveling her inner “good girl”, cultivating the ability to thrive in the deep, dark, unknown, or playing her favorite game of identifying fun paradoxes called “two things are true at once”.

https://www.RedMoonRevival.org
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