Venus Squaring Pluto, Opposite Eris.
Full Length Video Transmission Below
I haven’t shared from my inner world here in quite some time.
I’ve been bracing, armored, and it utterly stunned by all that is happening in the world.
This has left me a bit locked out of my internal landscape.
I finally took a day off from bearing witness to the madness, in order to reconnect with myself.
This is what came through as I tuned in…
I feel so utterly lost on the map. Disoriented. Disconnected.
Not from my heart, but from a sense of order and sanity.
I also feel helpless. Powerless. Messy. Angry. Like really pissed off angry. The kind of angry that happens when we feel totally out of control.
I feel offended.
Like my sweet, moral, middle class, sensibilities have been offended.
And disgusted. There’s an air of disgust in here too. It’s tied to a superiority. A sense that if people were just better informed. Smarter. If they simply did life on my terms, everything would be fine. Because I have all the answers.
I’m just here, watching all of these outrageous projections, shadows, and frankly ugly overt (non-“spiritual”, of course) feelings come and go.
From an existential kink perspective, self righteousness is honestly my favorite egoic place to land. I get off on it. At least I do until I see it. It’s got a particular high pitched frequency. And accumulation of energy at my solar plexus that could be mistaken for “power” but is really just a surge of cortisol. Adrenaline.
I’m doing this check in, because the “me” behind all of these mad emotions, and feelings, can see how normal, and human this all is. And I wanted to share this, in case anyone else is feeling mad, so we could at least feel the burn together.
In my most acute grief, being witnessed was medicine.
I can feel so much of the collective oscillating, in one way or another through this carousel of despair with me.
Especially those of us who have a stake in it.
The other day I was meeting with a client who has just lived through the equivalent of a personal earthquake. And I could hear her self critism in not “handling it better”.
She said “if you peered into my life, it would just look ugly. Like the aftermath of disaster. I am embarrassed”.
So I shared with her what Tanner’s death taught me… “having an insane response, to an insane event, is actually the most sane thing we can do”
When the wreckage train barrels through, it’s appropriate to be wrecked.
And trying to “manage” the blast radius, is tantamount to resistance.
Like somehow, we aren’t getting the message that lies deep in the heart of ruin.
I once wrote a whole essay on my skepticism for “coping skills”. How sometimes the idea of “managing emotions” feels geared more to keeping the cogs of the industrial revolution turning, than something healthy. (It’s probably both)
I shared that my preference is for something far more feral, loud, and authentic.
How it seems to me, we are meant to travel with the momentum of the shattering. Allow it to annihilate us.
So with Venus who rules Eros, beauty, and values in Libra, the sign that governs “balance, harmony, proportion, and social cohesion”, ….opposing Eris, Goddess of Chaos and Discord in Aries… both squaring Pluto in Capricorn, the Fallow Ground of Deep Winter. The Feminine Domicile of Saturn the Queen of Karma… I thought this message might be appropriate.
In fact, this is a wallop of a configuration, that I may talk more about in the next day or so. In the meantime… as Venus wraps up her stay in the Throat Chakra Gate, I encourage you to give sound and expression to your feelings.
Let them out in whatever animal screech, howl, or roar, they require. Move like a dragon. Breathe, undulate, dance. Be Feral. Be whole.
With Pallas Athena now in Scorpio, I feel us all connected to snake/dragon medicine, peering out at the world through owl eyes.
It’s an intense time.
