Sinead and Kassandra (Asteroid)

SINEAD AND KASSANDRA

It’s been several days since her death, and I am still seeing women share about what Sinead meant to them.

Never before have I witnessed a celebrity death evoke so many mixed and contradictory emotions and memories in the hearts of people who genuinely loved her.

She meant something unique to each and every one of her fans. And almost everyone was a fan.

No one can deny the raw emotional timbre of her voice. We all recognize that telling glint in her eye.

As I’ve meditated on what I’m seeing I’ve discovered two things. Sinead was (is still, even in death) a mirror.

And the thing I identify with most in Sinead, is how much she embodies the Goddess Kassandra.

We’ve talked about Kassandra before. That one Goddess who had that unfortunate encounter with Apollo. The one in which Apollo gave her the gift of prophecy, hoping that she’d sleep with him. And when she rebuffed him, he took the gift away.

Cursing Kassandra with the gift of prophecy that no one would believe. She warned of the Trojan war. Though no one would listen. Hence, all of Troy was Destroyed.

(Ironically my favorite song by Sinead is named Troy)

Because of this, people began to believe Kassandra was crazy. She appeared schizophrenic.  Her family didn’t know what to do with her, and she was outcast.

She goes on to spend the rest of her life, languishing in institutions. Her golden gift squandered.

Likewise, Sinead had a big hit in “Nothing Compares”, which excited industry executives. They were ready to transform her into a Pop Princess. They believe they gave it to her.

Unfortunately, they couldn’t contain her. She would not betray herself to become the “darling banking dollars” that they could exploit. In telling the truth to the world, she rebuffed them.

For this reason, they hated her. You can hear how they slyly took her down behind the scenes.  In other words, they took it away, just like Apollo took away Kassandra’s gifts.

Just like today’s Kassandra’s, Sinead was canceled for being a truth teller. She remained a truth teller and seeker for the rest of her life, but the amount of gaslighting she faced took its toll.

Who here doesn’t relate? Who here hasn't felt the pain of not being believed, of not being heard when our primal knowing was trying to communicate something deeply true. Something that matters?

I know I do. Years ago, I had a continuous pain in my abdomen. Over and over again, I went to Drs seeking a diagnosis.

Finally, after their failure to find a problem, they told me the pain was my fault. I lived for years believing that “I must have hated myself” so much that I was sending a mysterious, murderous, pain to my lower right abdomen.

I cannot begin to tell you how much this rattled my own sense of inner gnosis. The trust I had in myself completely diminished in the face of Big Daddy Medicine and all of their gaslighting.

And in the face of it, I outsourced my knowing to the “experts”.

Eventually, after seven long years, I was finally diagnosed with chronic appendicitis.

I had lived with intermittent appendicitis level pain for seven years. The kicker is, that’s exactly what I thought it was. And I told them so again and again as they told me “no”.  It turns out the only cat-scan they gave me was misread by the radiologist. And when I was diagnosed, the specialist could see the scars on my appendix right there on the original scan.

Just like Sinead, Instead of apologizing for their failure to diagnose me. They said nothing. No one acknowledged the mental health toll it had on me.

I am not kidding when I tell you that thinking I was causing myself this much pain almost killed me. The way it f@cked with my head to believe I was doing this to myself, and nothing I tried to do made it any better took a tremendous toll on my relationship with myself. I felt utterly powerless, and dependent on the medical community to help me. And they didn’t. They kept making me feel like a headcase. Attempting to treat my pain with mental health drugs rather than believing me.

For years afterwards, I had trouble communicating with Drs. I was still healing, and NOT quite on solid ground.  I watched how every time I needed to see a Dr, something inside me changed. I still didn’t feel sure about my own experience.

Inside of my own experience I see so much of Sinead’s. What the failure to acknowledge truth does to the stand alone truth teller.

This experience has totally revolutionized how I bring my voice forward now. I’d like to believe that there would never be a repeat experience. But, sadly, humanity is an ecosystem. We don’t exist on an Island.

I have taken responsibility now for the places I betrayed myself. AND, I acknowledge that what happened to me, didn’t happen in a vacuum. I have had my anger at the people that failed me. It was an important part of my healing.

I’ve learned that who I bring into my environment is important. That it is my responsibility to surround myself with the right support team. Not people who will reinforce the gaslighter.

I thank the Drs for the lesson. For teaching me about how much there is to lose when I don’t back my truth.

And now, I love working with other women and the Kassandra/Pythia Archetypes in the Throat Chakra Modules of SkyDancer.

Interestingly, I have the Asteroid Kassandra at the midpoint between my Sun and Uranus. Meaning, she is an important part of my own journey of individuation and liberation.

I also thank Sinead for being such a beautiful mirror. For showing us that she was as archetypally multifaceted as she was musically.

It feels to me like we’ve only begun to mine all that she had to offer, and that she will continue to be a beacon of artistry and discovery for years to come.

Art by Kabuchi Art Georgia

#sineadoconnor #sinead #kassandra #Cassandra  #goddess #throatchakra #skydancer #Venus #truth