Venus & Jupiter a Desire Story

Art by Rossouli

A DESIRE STORY - VENUS AND JUPITER

Some years ago my mom stopped by on a night we had gotten dinner from an award winning, boutique pizzeria.

This pizza is lush. It’s a luxury pizza eating experience. And everyone from my area knows it.

One thing you need to know about my mom is that she loves to eat. Two other you should know about her are, she’s had a thyroid disorder her whole adult life that’s made her sensitive about her weight even though her health and weight have stayed fairly normal, and she was raised by parents who survived the depression.

Anyhow, my daughter and I were in the kitchen with her and this pizza box. My daughter loves my mom and was watching her intently.

My mom approaches the pizza box, opens it, then loudly proclaims, “oh I shouldn’t, I had something to eat a few hours ago, wouldn’t want to add the extra calories.”

The things was, everything in her was communicating that she really desired a piece of this rare culinary experience.

My immediate thought was horror. I was watching my daughter, watch my mother deny her desire.

“Oh he!! no” I said to myself.

In that moment I saw all of my programming around desire flash before me.

This is also how I show up around my desires. Tight, and scarce.

As if having the smallest possible amount of desire was a virtue.

I saw how it shows up with food, money, travel, material things, even my car. “I’m thrifty” I would say.

I had even gone through this same ritual with my husband earlier in the evening about splurging for the good pizza.

“I’ll eat anything. We can just get the 5$ carry out special. We don’t need to spend all that.”

Same energy as my mom.

Then I saw how healthy and connected my husband had always been to his desire.

And how there were times I demonized that part of him.

I also saw how if this all carried on, my daughter would be utterly disconnected from her own desire.

So, for the past several years I’ve working towards increasing my capacity to hold bigger and bigger desires in my system.

And I’ve been in a wholly different orientation around my daughter’s desires than my mom was with me.

It’s a whole thing that descendants of the Great Depression understand. The tightness. The less is more mentality. I went to discover how dense my programming around this was.

With Eliza, I’m working to instill a whole different set of “desire values.”

For the most part it’s really worked for her. She is not at all shy about claiming what she desires.

In her mastery she’s been my mirror in regards to how much progress I’ve made in this area.

Every time I want to respond with “that’s too much”, I get to see where I’m still collapsed around my own havingness.

Tonight she declared her desire for travel. It was so true.

You could hear her clarity when she was laying out exactly why she desires a trip.

She needs to see something of the world. The pandemic, and all of the things we have going on at home has led her to the desire to have a bigger experience of being alive.

So we are going on a trip soon. I love the way she is calling me into the scarce dusty corners of my life.

The way she is pushing me to expand so I can meet her in her bigness.

This is a Venus conjunct Jupiter story.

As Venus moves into her conjunction with Jupiter in Aries, feel into how much you let yourself HAVE your bigness. How connected you are to your desire. Drop in with your level of havingness. Because likely, Venus together with Jupiter is calling you to occupy a bigger space based on your own true desires.