The Full Yes

I ran across a post on Instagram the other day. It was speaking to the ‘full yes” people. Positing that there are so many things that we know we need to do, but we are afraid. So we do them shaking with trepidation. Not feeling a full body yes. That it is this action, of taking a deep breath, and jumping, that is often our own personal quantum leap.

I’ve also heard that life is not made up of quantity time. It is made up of just a few moments. In these moments, our life takes a sharp turn sideways. The loss of my son was one such moment. Though it wasn’t a choice, it was a moment of significant sea change. In that one moment, my life was changed forever.

Just like a nodal return in Astrology, these moments are our story nodes. The places where we edit our stories significantly.

The nodes in the sky are transiting over my Sun.

And I am taking such a leap now. One that has me trembling.

One that my system isn’t a full yes too. But my soul is.

I just thought this was a good reminder, that sometimes we make fated choices. Choices that we know will serve our soul. Not necessarily calm our system.

Choices that call us to a higher level.

Sometimes we choose them. Sometimes they choose us.

And we must venture forward. Without the comfort of a perfectly smoothed out system. And that is ok.

Buying my house at 22 was another one of these choices. It was hands down the best thing I have ever done financially. It has allowed me to do things I’d never have been able to do otherwise. It’s also tripled in value since that time.

But I was absolutely terrified. So young. My mom didn't think it was a good idea, so I did it alone. Pulled forward by something bigger than me.

It’s ok to step out sometimes, and play in these realms.

We don’t always have to be a full yes.

Not when there is something deeper at work.

We can allow ourselves to be pulled to the starting gate, by something bigger than us. And have our human self be unsure and even a little bit scared.

Art Christy Tortland