Victim Consciousness

If we misapply the teachings around Victim Consciousness, we can run into a Ruthless Punisher.

Working with victim consciousness has been some of the most powerful work I’ve ever done.

In my twenties, I was in a near total state of self imposed collapse because I was so out of touch with reality.

I had imprisoned myself in a hell of my own making. With a story that “no one else in the whole world had to live through a more challenging set of psychological circumstances than I did”.

“And everything I try doesn’t really work”

Only I wasn’t receptive to real help. I wasn’t open to love. And I wasn’t engaging with life through reality, but rather my own story.

So, I’m sure you’ll believe when I say Victim Consciousness work has been a huge part of my own path of self reclamation.

But too many people aren’t getting the whole teaching. Thankfully, I’ve worked with teachers who’ve had whole download.

And I’ve been able to map it on for myself, in a way that feels like I can track it, and meet it in a nourishing, self resourced, LOVING way.

We cannot work with Victim Consciousness without whooping doses of compassion, self love, (loving ourselves the way the archetypal good mother would love us-unconditionally), approval, permission, and reality. Or else the voice that comes into eradicate it can become a petty tyrant. Shaming us into shape.

A few of my more recent underworld sessions have had similar themes. They reminded me of the shadow of vitim conscious work that isn’t properly tempered. The shadow: (for lack of a better word) is we come face to face with a punisher.

The one who is endlessly mentally punishing us.

Its almost as though it’s pushing us to bootstrap our way through our healing.

It’s honestly commendable. This devotion to self responsibility.

We know the development of this self responsibility has paid dividends.

We are the souls who’ve already been forged in the fire.

So why does this hurt so bad?

We’ve had worse. We should be able to power through this. We shouldn’t be feeling this deeply, this messy, this dysregulated.

So we downplay the severity of our experience. Do our best not to collapse.

Holding ourselves to standards we wouldn’t hold our clients, or friends, or family too.

The key to any work we undertake is to begin with love. Embrace the whole thing with love. To just start there.

Can we love ourselves? Can we love the whole experience? Even if it’s gnarly? Because it’s ours. It’s ours to tend now.

Then bring in the awareness of reality.

If we’ve suffered a loss. Had a major shift or change. Lost something or someone meaningful. If old wounds are resurfacing, or even if we’ve just had a shit week, we are allowed to be human. (To be honest, even if nothing happened) We have permission to feel whatever is there.

Evolved humans are still human.

I remember about 13 years ago, I lost a pregnancy at four weeks. I did the test, the next day I lost the pregnancy.

I couldn’t understand why I still felt like shit about it two weeks later. I kept minimizing my loss.

My story kept badgering me. “How can you be THIS SAD, over something you never had?”

It wasn’t until I just let go, and gave myself permission to feel it all that it finally moved through, and I got pregnant on my next cycle.

Giving ourselves permission to just be where we are, even if we notice there are some “victimy” thoughts involved is key. It’s really ok. The thing is awareness, and we have that.

When I’ve had a really hard time, I allow myself to have space for a pity party. I treat myself really well, allow it all to just exist without any judgement. Without “analyzing” my progress. I trust that it will pass. That I won’t get stuck here.

Because the thing is, there is no progress. We are just human. Where we are is part of the journey.

My favorite word the last few years has been permission. (Thank you Perri.)

There is so much genius and wisdom in this teaching of giving full permission to our humanity.

On the subject of words…

David Bedrick uses the word “unshaming”. There’s been something about giving myself this level of permission that has had the effect of almost totally eradicating shame.

We are the ones who have been forged in the flames, we know we are good. Therefore, with this knowing, it’s wisdom that we’ve no need of a punisher minimizing or naysaying how we are moving through life.

Art Vassiliev