Lessons From His Chart

* I have learned the most about Astrology through the charts I know best. This a meditation on Lessons from Libra through the Lens of My Son Tanner’s Life.

Lessons of Libra

One of the things that came through so clearly after my son left was the obvious split between my humanity and my spiritual/soul self.

I knew the deeper truths around his departure, AND, my human self just wanted her boy back. I have been in pain, attached, angry, bitter, blaming, etc.

The way my human self has responded has shown me so much about myself.

Its been so interesting to observe my humanity and my spiritual self communicating with each other. It was if each was so exaggerated in their role, that it made things that were kind of obscured before become absolutely undeniable

Maybe it should have been obvious before, but in this experience of loosing him, he has really driven it home.

I remember standing in the parking lot of our city park just after he died talking to a girlfriend about this. Explaining just how much I hadn’t realized how distinct these two pieces of myself were. And how much our humanity and our experiences contribute to our syllabus. Far more than meditating, or chanting, or yoga.

In fact, he is showing me so much that I hope to share over time.

However, this one has been huge right now. Because if I don’t hold my humanity in the forefront of my awareness, I can easily find ways to blame myself.

This is what he’s begun to show me in an experiential way…

Striving for perfection, or avoiding our human experiences and feelings, as is SOOOO prominent in the spiritual/purity communities, is us essentially striving to avoid our curriculum/evolution.

If we run away from our humanity. Or fail to allow others to be human, pushing for them to abandon their lessons in favor of our comfort, or expectations around how they show up, makes me wonder, are we missing a crucial piece of why we incarnated?

If I were someone who believed in sin, I’d call this one of the biggest sins. Holding people to standard of perfection places them on a pedestal. Holding ourselves to standard of perfection always keeps us externally oriented.

I think my son held himself to a standard of perfection that was unsustainable and unattainable. That kept him locked outside his heart sometimes. Always striving.

No matter how much I tried to convince him otherwise. Convince him that no one is perfect and I love him no matter what. He couldn’t take that in.

He had ideas around what it meant to be a man, to have power, to make money, etc.

For years I had high standards for myself. Always attempting to leave my humanity behind and “better myself”.

I didn’t have approval for who I was in the moment. And I projected my ideas about “self improvement” onto others. Expecting them to show up in their role in a perfect way.

I thought it was that I had “good standards” in my relationships. Good boundaries.

Over the last few years I’ve really revised and unwound my beliefs around this.

I still have good boundaries, but I strive to maintain connection with a person’s humanity, even inside of the boundary. I can see where I’ve really grown here. It feels like a byproduct of accepting my imperfections more. The more I offer it to myself, the more I can offer it to others.

I can also see it as an astrologer. I can see the personality, and the karma in the chart.

Another way of saying all of this is that our humanity feeds our spiritual development. Our soul’s evolution.

And to deny, abandon, or even lack approval for our humanity means we miss a huge part of what we are here to learn and experience.

As we are now learning so much about polarity in the collective….

I want to present our humanity and spiritual self as just another polarity we are here to hold.

And working with the two can be approached the same way we work with any polarity.

This is a lesson of Libra. Tanner’s Sun is at 1° Libra.

Mapping polarity, and finding equanimity between the two. The through line.

Living on either side of a polarity will eventually pull us out of balance. We must find a way to let them dance and weave together to help us understand our story.

Working with our Karma, and on our evolution, while understanding that our humanity is an integral piece that helps highlight something that serves us.