To Be With

Art Alyssa Thorne

Sometimes, when we accompany others at the threshold, there is nothing to do but ”be with”.

Be with our own emotions, be with our own tender heart, be with our loved ones as they face into their dark night of the soul. And hold them.

Hold them in that deep interior place. Nuzzle them, tuck them right up under our breastbone. Fold them into to our soul.

We have such a vacuum in our society when it comes to the dark side of being human.

We don’t know how to engage. So we turn away. But that is almost never supportive.

There’s something extremely nourishing about holding the lamp high for someone else in the black of night.

For me, among other things, Tanner’s death has been an initiation In meeting the abyss. In meeting it myself. And in meeting it *with others.

Now, when darkness visits those in my community, I know what to do.

Nothing.

Nothing but apply presence, to that ineffable spot we call source, or god, or goddess. “Be with”

That ever churning, creator, preserver, destroyer, that lives beyond our perception. It is powerful beyond measure. We know it by its work.

And to love it. For the love of this spot, gives reverence to everything it touches.

To love its mystery, its eternal unknown-ness,

The love of this ineffable Mother, invites the Queen of Death to work swiftly and peaceably.

Our death becomes as much a part of our story as our life.

The death of others, the container that we co-create with their living loved ones to hold this part of their story, matters.

The witness is as important as the principal in this case.

This container creates context for the living as they carry on.

A good death is all we can ever hope for.

And “being-with” is an alchemical nectar for those who stand at the threshold -to help them cultivate a good death.