The Mind of an Astrologer
Emily Balivet
The mind of an astrologer…
Not long ago, I was diagnosed with Anemia. Which is a lack of iron in the blood.
Like with most things, I thought to myself , “what message does this have for me?”
Iron? Blood?
Iron is the metal of the planet Mars. It’s part of how we get the saying “he had an iron will”.
In medical astrology, conditions of too much or too little iron point us towards the archetype of Mars. With Anemia, we are looking at an imbalance of too little iron.
From an archetypal/psychospiritual level, I’m just looking at the word “imbalance” because I don’t allow my mind to crystallize around value judgements like “too little”. It makes transformation harder when we agree with a specific diagnosis or pathology.
Mars is expressed in Astrology as the Masculine, the Warrior, the Red King. He governs war, anger, personal power, aggression vs assertiveness. Action vs Being. How we manage and wield our will in the world. He is yang, rules the Solar Plexus, and brings in third chakra themes.
When the Dr brought in the Anemia piece, I instantly thought of the ways in which I’ve both acted out, and held onto an imbalance in this archetype. Either by unleashing rage in inappropriate ways, holding onto and bypassing anger, and a pretty insidious story around victimhood, that I was unable to see until my husband and I parted ways.
I’ve also been meditating on how ancestral (blood) this theme of “victimhood is. Not just for my birth mother being the victim of my grandfather’s ego needs in requiring that she place me. But how for generations women in general have been the victims of the dominator paradigm. How we have been oppressed and exploited. And when we have responded, how often we’ve been labeled with the Lilith archetype, the “hysterical” witch woman who dared to exercise personal power. Leaving us at risk of being locked away in an insane asylum, or even burned at the stake. In other words, not exercising our will became a matter of survival.
For me, what has been reflected in this diagnosis is that I am dealing an imbalance of Mars. And that in addition to getting more iron in my diet, there is a message that healing any wounding around an out of balance Mars/Masculine is also up for consideration.
When juxtaposed against my current circumstances, the message being reflected by my body couldn’t be more aligned.
I have carried an unconscious story around my marriage that I am a victim of my partner. And had made the relationship a receptacle of most of my resentments. Placing many of the things I thought weren’t working in my life directly in that cauldron. Rather than taking direct responsibility for where I felt disempowered and unhappy.
With this knowledge, I’ve been able to acknowledge the beautiful contributions he made to my life. Let go of any anger around my perceived victimhood and honor the new shape of our family is taking.
The blood being the vehicle for this transformation keeps bringing me back to Her, the Great Mother. The mother that has lived in my DNA. Whose seeds I originated from, and whose blood I carry in my body and my womb. It is through the deep burgundy red of blood I can begin to heal this imbalance, and the relationship I have with my personal power and how I exercise my will in a healthy ways. I can heal it not just for myself, but blood being a symbol of the continuation of our family line, this means I do this work for my lineage.
This is what I help my clients and students do. If you’d like assistance putting your circumstances into an archetypal context, to further your own growth and evolution, feel free to reach out for a consult.
